Trouble Ejaculating

Sex & Relationship Therapist: Stephen Snyder, MD

Sex and Relationship Therapist New York, NY

Delayed Ejaculation (DE) is more common than you might think, but very few sex therapists know how to treat it. I’m a Manhattan sex therapist with 30+ years’ experience helping men in NYC solve ejaculation problems. I’m an MD as well, so I understand how the mind and body interact. If sex is more stress than pleasure because you can’t ejaculate with your partner, contact me at Stephen Snyder MD for state-of-the-art treatment of Delayed Ejaculation today.

Trouble Ejaculating Q & A

What causes a man to have difficulty ejaculating?

Sometimes Delayed Ejaculation (DE) can be due to stress, medical illness, or prescription medications. For instance, the so-called “serotonin reuptake inhibitors (SRIs)” like Zoloft and Prozac, and the “PDE-5 inhibitors” like Viagra and Cialis commonly cause DE.

But for most men with lifelong trouble ejaculating, the underlying problem is that they just have a high “ejaculation threshold.” It simply takes a lot of stimulation for them to climax. 

How common is Delayed Ejaculation?

When I first started out as a sex therapist thirty years ago, I was taught that trouble ejaculating was rare, that it was very hard to treat, and that it usually suggested deep-rooted psychological problems.

We now know these are all total myths. The reality is that difficulty ejaculating is rather common. And it’s usually not that hard to treat, once you know how.

How is Delayed Ejaculation treated?

As I discuss in my article, Sex Tips for Married Lovers,  men tend to think once they’re hard they’re ready to have intercourse. Big mistake. A man can be hard but not fully psychologically aroused.

Most men with high orgasm thresholds develop particular masturbation techniques to enable them to reach orgasm most efficiently. Click HERE to learn more.  

Often these techniques are difficult to adapt to partner sex. Treatment often involves adjusting masturbation technique, changing partner sex techniques, and paying more attention to the subtleties of psychological arousal. Click HERE for more information on how to do this.

In addition, some men with Delayed Ejaculation masturbate compulsively in order to relieve tension or boredom. Often these men find they get much better results if they limit themselves to only masturbating when they feel genuinely aroused.

What’s distinctive about your approach to Delayed Ejaculation?

Most therapists have little to no experience treating men who can’t ejaculate. I’ve treated hundreds of men with Delayed Ejaculation -- including some who’ve never ejaculated in their lives. I know what tends to work, and what doesn’t.

What’s the most common mistake made by men who have trouble ejaculating?

Most men with Delayed Ejaculation penetrate too quickly before they’re fully psychologically aroused. And they continue intercourse for 20, 30, or 40 minutes -- far beyond the point where they have any realistic chance of ejaculating.

What’s the most common mistake made by partners of men who have trouble ejaculating?

They think there’s something psychologically wrong with him because he has trouble ejaculating. In reality, it’s usually just that he has a high orgasm threshold and simply needs to learn how to accommodate to that fact.

What if I’m single and can’t ejaculate, but I don’t have a partner for sex therapy?

About half of the men who consult me for DE are single, so you’re in good company.  In fact, many men with partners prefer to come in alone, which is fine.

How long does treatment for Delayed Ejaculation take?

Many men with DE can be treated in just one 90 minute consultation session. Usually, it’s just a matter of understanding what your DE is all about, and learning specific techniques to deal with it. Additional sessions are as-needed.

What can I expect from a first visit for Delayed Ejaculation?

You can expect a better understanding of why you have trouble ejaculating, and a list of specific things you can do about it right away.

 

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